Tasted my first failure for HCL ytd night when i saw my HCL results through the academic portal! Brokedown and cried very hard for a rather long time. Noisy said she was crying at that time also for some reasons. Haha. What partners we are! Crying at the same time.. I didn't study hard for chinese this time round like before. And that led to my failure. Got 55.3/100. My first ever Cs in chinese. Didnt even expected that at all though i know i wont do very well. Hai. Painful lesson!

Watched House of Wax with zhiwei ytd. Super gross and gore(Word taught by professor Chen) . Though gross, it was indeed a never had before thrilling experience. P H E W! She was so fierce on the phone, asking me wear a skirt which i did after hearing that. Was actually wearing jeans but she was too fierce!

xioayan passed her english and she treated us to Mac nuggets. 2 each. thanx best pal! Haha.

xiaoyan and huiyun have been coming quite often quite often nowadays. And they came with Junli today. We played Mahjong! FUN!! When's the next session!?

EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS..

I was deprived of my precious TV shows this whole week. Think i only spent like 4 hours on watching tv this whole week. So little!! But BUt. Today's friday and i can watch anything that i want. YEh! One more day and i can see Qizhu again. OH, how i miss him. Though people say he is so old looking but. He is so shuai in my eyes. Haha!

Have been visiting the dog everything after school and have been sleeping very late every night. Having slight fever now. I slept at 3 yesterday. Cant believe it! I tried drinking all sorts of things to keep myself awake. Like Coffee, Wulong Tea.

Monday: Lit was ok and i hope i wun fail. Hope o wun be on the hall of fame again
English, couldnt explain what i wanted to say
Tuesday: Maths was ok. Though all the angles gave me a big headache!
Forsake Social Studies for Maths. I decide to memorise only one essay
that i believed so dearly that it would come out.
Inthe end.i...was...wrong ! Luckily read through some essays beforehand
and think it was ok in the end i hope!
Wednesday: Geog, memorised all the facts and i had it all in my head except
some. :) maybe i'll get like 30/50? haha.
Physics= Disaster. Couldn't do ALL the current questions cause i
basically didnt understand that chapter at all! FAIL.
Thursday: A maths as usual. Didnt do so many questions and a FAIL again.
HCL. The paper that i got most disappointed with. It's the first time i
couldnt write 11 words. Last time only like 1 or 2 words. Felt a stab in
my heart! I didnt study for chinese at all this time and it will be the
first and the last!
Friday= Today: Maths p2 was :) maybe i'll get 70/100?
Chem was better than before though it was still bad. But i studied
more this time and could do most of the calculation. :) though
there is a bit of :(

I AM GOING ON MY DIETTING PLAN. WITH CHEN ZHIWEI AS MY GYM INSTRUCTOR!

Back from Char Siew Rice with zhiwei and huiyun! Lots of flies there though the food is nice. I'm still so troubled by that word. Miao3 Shi4 or Mao4 Shi4 ???? Help.. I seriously think it is Mao Shi. But nobody can give me a definate answer so, so, i'll just have to wait till sat to ask my grandmother!

Saw a poor tiny dog on the way to the coffeeshop. Think he is being abused by the owner. Saw it standing at the door there(the door was open but had grils on) then it was like cant be bothered to move at all, not even bark! So poor thing. It's legs were like red and like being beaten and around its eyes there were some scratches!! Oh my. Doggy, are you reallt abused.. Report it to SPCA?? It was like staring at me with its pathetic eyes. Oh my, how i wish i can help you or even take you home. How i yearn for a Dog but i wouldn't get it anyway. My mum doesn't likes them.

I was thinking that if i would ever have a dog one day, i will never abuse it though i think i would be guilty of neglecting it! But whatever the case, i will never abuse it! Why abuse a dog that will do no harm to you. I think the owner is crazy... Hai. They shall be punished one day!

SITTING WITH PRISCILLA is so interesting. I wanted to say fun but in case she HAPPENS to read this post she will be so proud so i shall not say FUN! Haha. She is so lame.. Haha! But the behind people a but noisy. sometimes can't really concentrate. I managed to scare that person next to me with a BA BOOM!!!! Haha. She got a shocked . YEH YEH!! She keeps tricking me with her " Actually i want to treat you sushi one" and i did believe her ONCE. So stupid of me! Hai..

Shall go study A maths now. Shouldn't waste anymore time. I'm going to spend my whole time tmr mugging! Hope it really will happen. Nites everyone!

Life has been so normal everyday and exams are coming. Tmr is the paper 1 and i am still here. Dunno why also la. But think i still don't feel the stress which is a bad thing isn't it.

The Dinner that the teacher treated the TT girls were just so delicious. So so nice and think it should be rather expensive. Thanx mrs han and Hou lao shi. Think they are the first teachers to treat the whole team there. The sec 1s got a ride home from hou lao shi as she said they were too young and it was already rather late. Is 9 considered late???? Maybe because it was like rather dark already and bats will fly around. Rather eerie! But if that night my parents did not go fetch me. wouldn't i face the same situation too and i had to pass this big dark grass patch. Haha. Nvm, i am old and brave enough.

I feel rather irritated with a certain sort of people. Those who just like to squeeze into the centre and would not want to stand at the side kind. There's like 2 cases around me and of course i cant name them though i would really want to. Eg. Like maybe you are lining up or something then because that person is a bit late and she is like the last person already and she still wants to like be in the line so she just pushes you aside then she just don't want to be the last. Conclusion: She just wants to be the centre of attraction and does not want to be left out. ARGH!!! Hate this kind of pple and they just have to be around me.. WHY do they every exists. And i will always be the nice one, move aside and let them have whatever they want! And that is why i am always at the side whenever a photo is taken!!!

I'M FINALLY 16! Yeh.. :)

Went for tuition in the afternoon then was brought to PS by yan. She is just so funny, trying her best to keep me in suspense though i did suspected something fishy la. But i was really very touched by her efforts in trying to give me a surprise. Thanx yan best pal. Haha. Always to be remembered!

Then i started walking around PS with yan and all of a sudden, yun- cai- june- sha te le- chris appeared in front of me. SHOCKED! haha. They passed me two balloons(yellow/ purple) that they have stolen from mos burger. then passed me yanzi karaoke CD. A big thank you to all of you! yan and Sha te le went off for a while.

Walked around again but this time spotted something new. Fila Sale. Chris cai june went crazy about the sale but june's enthusiam died off after a while then she came and talk to yun and me! chris and cai continued their " auntie spree" as what yun said.

Then.. Then, yan and Sha te le came back with a hotter that yan bought from Baleno. Think it is really ex and i feel really bad. And yan ah i tell you. The shirt is nice. I really like it. I was just joking earlier on. Pls believe!

Went Arcade later on and played with this super interesting Drum game and then went for this toy catching game. Wasted $4 and didnt even caught any. I think the manufacturers are just trying to cheat pple's money, till now i have not seen anyone caught even on yet!

Swensens for dinner. Had Fish and Chips then was surprised by pris- wei - noisy! They came in with the cake and was i was like so TOUCHED! Haha.Shocked! Ice cream cake. cant even remember when was the last time i ate that! But had a hard time swollowing the cake down cox i was really really FULLL!!!!!!! Managed to force it down eventually.. Noisy went off to meet SOMEONE in the end. I knew it one. she wont go home! Haha.

Heeren after that to take Neos and pris i tell you, it is fried Wantan, not Wantan noodles. trust my nose! Went home with pris wei and yun after that. Wei wanted to get shrooms meal but it was sold out so she bought the Mac student meal in the end. I had a share in the drink. Haha. Home!

To all who celebrated my birthday for me today. *yan *yun *chris *pris *wei *cai *noisy * june * she te le. Really a big thank you too all of you. Best pals ever. You all made my day! Thanx a lot. Actually didnt expect everyone to turn up one. Esp. wei pris and noisy. Haha! So, thank to you three sushi pals.. yeh. you all are the best!!

Thanx Evon for that birthday wish!! Thanx Junli for the numerous Birthday wishes and card!! Thanx yan for the effort that you put in and your shirt!! Thanx pris wei noisy for the ice cream cake!! Thanx sha te le and junli for the balloon!! Thanx cai yun chris june and sha te le for the CD!! Thanx yun for your showers of blessings!! Thanx Pris noisy wei for coming!! Thanx SuAnn for your Birthday wishes... Yeh, i fell that i am so lucky cox i got so many pple who are so nice too me!! HURRAY!! Now i know what it means by SWEET SIXTEEN. hehe!!

Lit was so boring today. It was 2 periods long and she was talking all the way. Didnt even know what i was writing. WXP gave us another lecture again. Saying you must work hard then can enjoy next time or something and it lasted one long period. She is so sacarstic. I miss HM! :(

Stayed back for chinese compo in the afternoon and nothing came on my mind. Was writing crap la. Think this compo will get only a 60. sad case. Had to wait for that june to finish her compo for half an hour and it deprived me of my sleep. She was so slow! ARGH. Haha and she got so nervous when i started rushing her. Walked out with june cai wei yun.

Fate Twisters ended today. Sad. no more Chang Xi, TianSheng, Xiao Lei and i had to watch the last episode in the super smelly coffeeshop because there were smokers around me. They really pissed me off. Nad they just like to sit near me. I think they just want to let me get their second hand smoke. Evil people. But still, i like the food there if not i would not even bother to even step into the smoking area!

Think tmr there will be people celebrating my birthday for me? Haha. Think so la, which means they will give me a surprise? Hm. I am thinking so far off. Haha! Nvm. Thanx to SuAnn for giving me those present. I love them ya. Esp. the " Balls dropping down the stairs". Best JNR ever!

Evon told me that there will be a team dinner on Monday but yet to be confirmed. I am rather loking forward to it. Haha. First time i look forward to something that has connection with TT. So, this means that i will get to see SuAnn and Jillian once again and then i can joke around with them once again. Talking about SuAnn's favourite topic " Paddi Field". YEH . :)

Looking forward to tmr's tuition for once!!!

Maths lesson would not be that stressful if i do my revision before hand. Ms lau was going through the stretch part then actually i already did the questions before hand already so when everyone was doing it i was slacking. yun qian is now her target. poor thing la. Haha! Ms lau always comes and find me when my dummie partner's gone. Help! But actually ms lau is really a very very nice teacher. She is just super crappy and serious when she's serious. Then today when i know my work she actually said: Good! But can you actually remember them?" Oh my, i was hurt. Hai. She's so mean. I was actually happy when she said good but she had to add something behind. But nvm, she's still a good teacher. I like her! Haha. I was thinking that i must work hard for my Mid Year and show her that i am a good student. *smiles with teeth beaming* I was seeing myself scoring the highest. Though it's like far far away from me but i will TRY! I failed my A maths test - 10/25 but i got the same mark as dummie partner. Haha. Shows that i improved cox i usually get 1 mark lower then her. Yeh. I will continue working hard.

There's Chem test tmr and i hope i will pass. I have failed all my Chem tests this year. Not even a pass yet. That's very sad. Even my A maths is better then Chem. Hai. Hope the tuition will really help! Taking NAPFA next thurs! 5 items!

My Birthday's coming and i think i want to go Swensen's. I don't like soft toys for presents. I like practical stuff. Like food or things to use or anything! Soft toys collects dust and my mum will start nagging again. I want a dog for my birthday but it will forever be a dream cox my mum dislikes them. We think different. She thinks they are dirty, i think they are cute. I'm going to be 16 soon and NC-16 here i come. I think i will spend a lonely birthday as i always did other than the celebration that my whole family of 14 celebrated for me at Jack's Place. The food was great as usual but the Birthday song took so long to be broacasted, in the end we sang w/o the song. Haha. Then the song came when the cake was gone and the song kept repeating, so stupid.

I miss trng but not someone there. I really want to touch the TT balls and bat again but i really do not want to go see someone. I cannot bring myself to step into that hall again. But think i am going to continue TT in JC if i can ever go into one.

I want to be an artiste manager next time when i grow up or i want to work in Warner Music. I want to see all the celebrities. Think i will be so happy everyday but still i do not know what the future holds for me. I might become a road sweeper or a toilet cleaner or maybe i will open a recording company. Or be a childcare teacher? *dreams* Mrs Ng told me not to stalk the celebrities today cox i wrote on the piece of paper that i want to be an embedded tourist " i want to stay in Hong Kong so that i can see all the celebrities there" She was laughing at what i wrote but nvm, that's just for fun. And it's a dream after all. Hong Kong/ Taiwan, here i come... *Whee---- *

A/E Maths lessons with Ms lau are stressful. Esp, ytd when dummie partner left for tournament. Ms lau came to check on me and i got so stressed up that i couldn't even do a simple question and she kept pushing me to answer her qustion. Like what is the opposite of mutiply. I stoned at her and said + ! I don't even know why i said that. Felt so stupid. Then later she asked me again. This time very irritated and i was so scared. I was like HELP HELP SOMEBODY HELP! But that stupid dummie partner was like nowhere to be seen and i said divide. Finally it was correct then PHEW. She let me off and went away saying: " yingxiu, you've got to work harder!" So sad to hear that but i know the answer one la, just that she made me over stressed.. SIGH, Maths lessons!

Chem Prac today was rather ok la. I just hope thati can pass. My QA was plain crapping all the way but i managed to guess the anion correctly. SULPHATE. But think the element for the VA was wrong. I got Magnesium but i think it's sodium. But the both of them are just next to each other so... SO i may be correct after all. There's still chance. HOPES! :) Physics Prac was not any better la though i think i can scrap through it again. HOPES!

NAPFA 5 items next week. Huiyun got CCA for the two re-tests and so i will be alone leh. HAI. so sad. But think there will still be the TT girls la. Hope i won't be so odd out after all! Failed Chem tests again. 15/40! I will never pass it. It's like never passed a single chem test since this year. Other people are like getting all their Bs and As for chem but i never seem to make it. WHATEVER, i give up! I just cannot make it for chem. Off you go~!

Pasata Mania on Monday with Dummie partner and zhiwei. I love pasta mania. It's so nice. Hehe. And i miss the the soft shell crab. Hm, when shall we go again! My previous angel is Mary and she gave me a whole tin of Milo and a packet of Milo Nuggets. Thanx! She's like so interestin la. Haha. And i gave her the Korean crackers in return. Nice angel though i was complaing that she didn't give me anything. Was just joking only la. Don't take it to heart, Mary!

Yanzi was nominated for many awards for the 16th Taiwan Golden Melody Award. It's like she got in almost everything. Except for the Favourite Male Artist and Best Newcomer Award. So der right. haha! She's the best la. Though some may say she is not so popular but to me she is super popular. Yeh Yeh! HAha. Hope she wins most of them and i will be cheering for her here in Singapore.

2.4 today. Was totally exhausted!! Felt short of breath for the first time in my life during the last round. Then i decide that i should stop if not i think i will be lying in hospital now. I did not even train at all for my 2.4 Today is like my very first time after last year's one. I was so worried that i couldn't sleep till 3 plus last night then i kept praying for strength and truly he answered my prays and i passed by 0.02sec. Time: 18.12 ! Mdm Ho actually said that i failed and it gave me a shock. But luckily she was talking about the age 16 people. I'm young and i am 15. Haha! Lucky me. Noisy said that i was too slow and kept walking but i was tired what! I am a failure case of spo0rts people. I am so happy that i passed and no need re-run again. PHEW!!

8/4- PLTT played their best ever match with SNTT, though we lost 2:3 but i really feel that they played super well today. Esp. WJ. She played so well that it seems that she could just blocked everything and it was the best ever match that i see her play. But it was really upsetting when the doubles lost by a small tiny margin. All hopes were dashed at that instant. Top 8 was what we get this year. It's like the first year for my whole lifetime in TT that the team didn't get in Top 4 in Nationals. I'm really very sad but, what can we do when lady luck isn't smiling at us? :x ! My TT life ended with the last day of our tournament and i cant believe that i actually spent 7 years in TT and it's like half of my entire life with him!? WOW. I have decided that i would continue with TT if i ever made it into JC.

Today after Physics Prac which was so-so went back class to complete SS Assignment and they MElissa Foo suggested eating Yukee and i decide to go to + Zhiwei then while on the way. She decide to go Bishan Pasta Mania and off we went. Delicious as usual and walked around J8. Went to the Candy Mix to buy candys for her Mortal then she went off and me/zw walked around. Then NEL down to Boon Keng to meet sis. Sorry Zhiwei for the wrong information given. HAHA! You scared me with your angry tone!

I AM NOT GOING TO DO CHINESE COMPO. It's so boring. Always writing and writing. I don't like it! Topics given are always not good. I want to write freely. LET ME CHOOSE MY OWN TOPIC.

F.I.R's new album is out. Waiting for them to come Singapore for the Autograph session before i buy the CD. Songs are great as usual and they are so captivating and smoothing to the ear. HAHA!

Tmr will be a HMW day where i have to stay at home to finish two compo. Sad Case!

I don't want PE. I'm so scared of NAPFA. It's a sure fail one. I am such a failure. Aren't sports people supposed to be having strong staminas? Maybe i'm a failure case. SIGH.. HELP!!!!

The trip to the Old Folks home was once in a lifetime experience! I really enjoyed it though i was struggling to be the MC with xiaoyan and thanks to mindy hester turaiya stefanie for coming up on stage to help! A big thank you to you all. AND to some people who turned into the MC unexpectedly(as claimed by her) you really pissed me off i tell you. You just went up to like say your games then i also don't know why you stayed on and in the end claimed something that is NOT TRUE!!!!!! I know you want to gain attention and credit but please do not do it through this way la. You do not know how hard xiaoyan and i are like trying la! *Shall stop wasting my time talking bout this person*

Tournament is starting soon and my last day in Table Tennis which i have wasted 7 years on will officially end on 12/4 i think! I don't know if he will let Evon and me play but i really hope so though i know he prefers the other pair. He hates us to partner each other. And i know we are not very strong but i really feel comfortable partnering Evon. Nvm la. Oh ya. I got a FRIEND-chan suann . haha! Will never forget her. Will always remember her though i will leave TT soon! Glad to hear that? I know she must be super touched by me now. *passes you a tissue through the computer*

PRAISE THE LORD! I've got an A1 and Dist. for Oral.. i really think all this was made possible by God and i really thank him for that! Just less than 1 hour ago, i was sitting in the tense atmosphere of the HCL room waiting for Mdm Hu Min to give me my results.. I was like the LAST!? I've prepared a piece of tissue in my hand .. waiting to burst out just now! was so damm nervous la.. i didnt dare to stand up and go get my results when she announced my name.. Then when i got it, Hurray! A1 with Dist. I was like PHEW!! The whole day in class was really disasterous.. couldnt concentrate at all and had to wait till 145 then can get back results! Was so tiring.. waiting and waiting!

To all those that didnt get what you wanted: It's ok, i'm sure you have all tried hard.. just trust in the lord and he will lead the way..

TOMORROW'S THE DAY WHEN THE RESULTS ARE RELEASED! 28/2

Just have to wait for another 24 hrs or less and i will know what did i get! Scared Scared Scared..

I Pray.. I Pray that as each day gets nearer..God will give me calmness in my heart! I was thinking that on friday night(if the results comes out then) .. what will i be telling my relatives who will be calling? An A1 A2 B3? Oh No!! I can't get this off my head.. What if everyone gets an A1 and i, a A2? NOOOOOOO... What if everyone goes out to celebrate and i sobbing at home? HELP!! I don't know how i will react when i get back my results.. I know i will sure see tears that day but i hope it's tears of joy instead of.. of... of... of...

Mac after chem test today with zhiwei at serangoon gardens.. walked under the sorching sun for like 15 mins and was perspiring like mad! Was so shiok when we entered Mac! Saw this group of Australian International School guys and they were rather cute.. i like one of them and zhiwei like the other one.. haha! After that we walked to pet's resource centre to buy my hamster's food.. I simply love this shop. I will go there whenever i'm free and will introduce people there too. It's somesort a grooming shop cum vet cum pet store la.. has everything under the sun for pets.. there's this black dog there that is super tame but i still dare not touch it.. i scared that it will bite my hand..haha! Then right, there was this puppy that's super super cute! I was like waving and touching it through the window frame! Too bad la, my mum doesnt like the idea of having a dog.. If not i would have gotten one long ago!

Went to watch thunderstorm yesterday, went to meet Cairong, Huiyun, Junli, Sheryl at the opposite cherry hill bus stop, they say i dress like i was going to attend Star Awards. then started singing the song.so lame. was laughing like mad.But that's a nice comment. GEEs. We were rather scared that we were late la .cox of some miscommunication. Oh ya, and Zhiwei was so shocked with my dressing that she was like i PEI FU you ah. Haha, so funny!

Think the show was rather boring la. Or rather, i don't know how to appreciate this kind of stuffs.A one minute speech they can drag for like 10 minutes. Dozed off a few times and woke up finding them still on the same scence.Haha! But i must admit that their voices are strong and good. loud too! Zhiwei's parents fetched me home after that with her tired brother in the car.Ended up at Chomp Chomp opposite food centre to eat supper cox she was hungry. i was a bit hingry too la! Then her parents odered for me a big cup of cane sugar that got me so bloated up.. then ate carrot cake and LA LA too. nice la. Thanx auntie uncle.And thanx to best friend zhiwei. haha!

I read Tan's blog and i think she has got such a sweet sixteen birthday. I think i won't ever get such a nice birthday celebration! It's so fun. But anw, who doesn't want such a surprising birthday. Hai, nvm la. Still got my family to celebrate for me! I'm scared. A few more days and the results will be released! No, help me. pressure lands on me once again.

I think i am a very possesive person and has a very weird character leh.. if i have a very good friend or something and she's like one od my very close pal , i will like be jealous or something when she like gets very very close wih another person but i am trying very hard to change my this character. And then i will also want that person to assure me that she also treats me as her best friend or something one leh. Even my sisters and parents says so.. why when i am very close to one person i treat her very nice and can buy her lots of expensive stufss but when i am not close to that person anymore(usually is my problem cox the other party got close to another person), i will like treat that person as a stranger or anything and don't mention about that person anymore.. I know this is a very bad thing and i am trying very hard to get rid of this and i am succeeding .. cox i am more open now. And so i have very little little friendship problems now.

I hope it won't surface anymore and over here.. i sincerely apologise to anyone whom i have said any bad things about .. YINGZI IS VERY SORRY!

It's sort of confirmed that the O's are going to be released like soon. And it's very soon, like next week! I am already feeling the fear and stress now. I rather go take the exam over and over again rather than take back results! I really want my A1.. an A2 or below to me is considered as fail! I really cannot take it anymore, this is really very important to me! I cannot afford to get even an A2.. But i really tried my best.. really! I wrote the best essays i ever wrote and studied rather hard for all the words, though i know my sentence is like one wrong already, then the 4 choose 1 one 1 wrong already.. but this is already bad enough already.. this will make a difference between an A1 and A2.. I have a heavy stone in my heart now.. Help, i really need strength now!

-May God grant me strength-

I'm getting very frustrated.. Tournament is starting tomorrow! NO.. i have a bad feeling about all this! Got to leave class early tmr and have to miss E maths quiz and Physics test. NO, i don't want to take it alone at the science lab.. i want to take it with the class.. i DREAD all this.. ARGH!

Should be going out later to get some Valentine's gift and i have already prepared a special gift for sylvia and xiaoyan.. haha! I really hope that tmr will pass very soon.. i really can't take it anymore.. i hope that i won't break down in front of all the rest of the people.. cox i have to be strong..

I just realised that the results of the Chinese O's are coming out soon.. i'm really very worried.. stressed to the limits.. I have to get my As.. it's very important to me! But what if i don't get it.. I really can't imagine what i would do.. *cry in the toilet* i think after i get back my results. Or remain in a solemn mood forever.. HELP! I'm sure everyone will get their As and *yingzi* is the only one who will not get it..

Got back Chemistry test on friday and what i would say is that it was disasterous.. FAILED! Think i was one of the few who failed.. So many people passed it.. All of them have got 20 and above and i've got like 15.5! What's this .. I am feeling very down.. but maybe it's because i didn't even study hard for it.. I just merely browse through the book.. finished studying in 10 mins then i went to sleep.. i mean this is what the results shows.. If you didnt study you fail..

BUT... BUT.. there are just so many fakers around... next is a extract from them " NO! I have not finished studying .. i sure fail one! " Fakers around.. pls don't say this in front of me.. i will start scolding you i tell you.. Who will not study hard for a test??? You name me if you can .. and i will gladly apologise for what i am saying now..

However there are really people around who really didnt study and could too score well for theirs test because these people are really smart people.. they can remember what they have learnt.. but they are so rare.. or rather 1 in a 1000...

Alright.. i'm getting so worked up here.. maybe because TT is really driving me crazy.. plus the chem results really added on to my solemn mood.. HELP!! I need to de-stres... AND and.. i have found a method to de-stress... playing Mahjong.. haha! Go try it if you have the chance .. it's really nice. !! Haha..

I will not be influenced by people around me anymore.. i will not listen to their fake words.. i will start studying hard for all upcoming tests and score well.. I will not play anymore.. other then reserving the weekends for my mahjong session... *yingzi* begans her new life from this moment.. haha! I will make it into AJ.. If i can get any better results. i will go VJ... haha!

WoOhoO! I am getting happier as each day passes.. trying very hard to forget about that matter that has caused so much misery in me! *yingzi* has become stronger..

I want to assure yan here that she will always be one of my best pals.. other then sylvia and zhiwei! If i did anything in the past like talking bad about you or anything else.. i say sorry to the three of you here! The three of you are very significant in my life and i do not wish to lose you all! ( oh no.. getting so mushy)

New Year was great .. went to grandma's house(mother's side) and met up with my auntie(who is only 19+) so weird.. haha! But as usual, we locked ourselves in one of the rooms and talk .. i realised something.. she watched TRIUMPH IN THE SKIES too and SHE LIKES DANIEL WU too! haha.. finally found someone who shares the same interest as me.. YEH!

Tournament starts on Valentine's day and the non players.. that include *First Reserve* will have to leave class early at like 12 and help set tables and get ready the adminstrative stuffs.. Will have to be free labour again .. while the players go have their lunch ! I really hate all this.. Hai! *stops myself from complaining again*

Monday 7/2 will be marked in my life forever.. Never will i forget it! The players for the tournament were announced today! *yingzi*'s not playing .. she is a FIRST RESERVE! Alright, first reserve i am ! Trying very hard to accept this fact. If i say i am not sad that's definately not true.

I was given hope and now it was smashed in just a matter of a few minutes when the names were announced.. Is it my fault that i am not playing? Or because of others? Here i am unable to accept the fact and feeling super sad.. I don't want be some table manager ever again.

I want to be useful and play.. I am not looking forward to trainings anymore.. This is the first time i am looking forward to O's .. So that i won't need to go for trainings anymore.. *yingzi* must stay strong and survive throgh this.. [ I will survive] ..